Matrescence: the process of becoming a mother
This year, I read Matrescence by Lucy Jones, and it is one of those books that stays with you long after you close the pages. Matrescence explores the transition into motherhood with clarity, honesty and depth, putting language to experiences many women feel but rarely articulate.
If the term matrescence is new to you, it describes the emotional, psychological and identity shift that happens when a woman becomes a mother. It is not just a moment, but a complex process sometimes that is sometimes overwhelming and always deeply meaningful. Despite how significant this transition is, it is still widely overlooked or minimised in society.
In this book, Lucy Jones brings the subject to life in a way that feels both grounded and accessible. She weaves together research, cultural reflections and lived experience to show how motherhood reshapes us on multiple levels. What I appreciate most is her willingness to hold the full spectrum of the journey: joy, exhaustion, tenderness, anger, grief, love and the many contradictions that coexist. These contradictions are themes I very regularly see within my own perinatal practice.
As a therapist working with women during pregnancy, birth trauma and the early years of motherhood, I recognised so much of what she describes. Themes around identity, vulnerability, loneliness, shifting relationships and navigating expectations often arise in therapy, and this book captures them with honesty and care. I am often sat with women who are experiencing these conflicting emotions of feelings, and this book offers a really wonderful way of understanding and digesting them.
Matrescence is an important read for women and mothers because it invites reflection, validation, education and understanding. It reminds us that becoming a mother is more than preparing for birth or learning the practicalities. It is a profound internal transition that deserves space, compassion and support.
During pregnancy, several specific areas of the brain change in structure and activity. Research using MRI scans shows that the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, hippocampus and parts of the default mode network undergo significant shifts. The prefrontal cortex and default mode network help with empathy, understanding others and bonding, while the amygdala becomes more responsive, supporting protection and emotional attunement. The hippocampus, involved in memory and stress regulation, also adapts during this period. These changes work together to support the transition into caregiving and strengthen a mother’s ability to connect with and respond to her baby.
Why is this important? Knowing this can be incredibly grounding and validating! So many women worry that feeling more sensitive, more alert or more emotionally stirred means they are not coping well, when in reality these shifts are part of a deeply biological process. Understanding that the brain is actively reorganising itself can reduce shame and offer a sense of permission to honour what you are feeling. It reminds us that matrescence is not imagined or dramatic; it is a real, measurable transition, and your brain is working hard to support you through it.
If you are expecting, parenting, or simply exploring what motherhood means to you, this book is well worth your time. And if anything it brings up feels familiar or stirs something that needs a place to land, therapy can offer a safe space to explore those feelings.
Chloe x
